Weight Watchers let me down :(

Before Tina and Weight Watchers:

Yup.  That's me at my most miserable.  My dad convinced me I should join Weight Watchers because he had been doing it and he'd lost 50 lbs.  So I tried it.  Went to Thomson bright and early one Saturday morning, and attended my first meeting.  I lost 3.2 lbs. the first week, and within the fist 6 months, had dropped over 50 lbs.  My highest total weight loss had been at 70 lbs. 

Then life happened, the boy lost his job for 9 months and I gained 15 lbs. of it back.  Oh well, I still went to the meetings and let Tina and the other women motivate me.  I had gotten back on track, with my last weigh-in losing 4 lbs.  :)  I was happy that Saturday.  Monday afternoon I get a call saying Tina had been let go as the group leader.  :(

I'll be honest with you, the last week and a half hasn't been easy.  Those 4 pounds (and probably more) have come back, and I need my Tina.  It's like someone broke up with me out of the blue.  Or my therapist got fired and we weren't finished fixing me.  I said a year ago when they were thinking of having a meeting here in town that I would go and support the new meeting, but I'd still weigh in Thomson with Tina.  She's my girl, and her motivation and accountability are what I need.

But the powers that be in Augusta decided she couldn't be leader anymore unless she committed to attending voluntary staff meetings on Sundays.  Look, the woman has a husband and three children.  They both work full time, and the only family day they have is on Sunday.  You just asked her to choose between her family and her members.  Come to find out, the woman replacing her is paid less than Tina.  Wonder if it's $800 less a month.  That's what they've lost so far (that I know of) in monthly memberships that were cancelled.  Cancelled because of the decision to fire Tina. 

This woman is the sweetest woman you could ever imagine - monday night people who never attended WW showed up to sign the petition to re-instate her, including the President of the School Board.  :)  Yay.  So many people are hoping that this works!  I know I personally would tell WW to kiss my ass if the same thing had happened to me, but Tina won't.  If they ask her back, she'll come back.  Helping her girls is more important than her pride.

When I cancelled my membership I told them that I needed and wanted to be there, but their actions have prevented that.  I don't want to give $40/month to a company that cares more about making money than making money in the process of helping people.  Bring Tina back, and I'll be the first one to call and start again.  She thanked me for supporting her during this.  I asked her what else I was supposed to do, she supported me for 2 1/2 years.  We are trying to get her to start her own weight-loss support group.  Because, even though I've come a long way, I'm not done yet.  And she's not done with me yet, either.  :)

Thanks, Tina.  You helped me get to this point, and I love you forever for that.  ♥

60 (or so) lbs. lighter.

Peace

I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep last night, and the subject of last night's blog was running through my mind.  Maybe I should give a little background first?

When I was 18, I started dating someone that I still to this day consider the love of my life.  Unfortunately for me, he didn't feel the same way.  Not that I'm mad at him or anything, I mean it's not his fault.  Sure it sucks, but its something that I have to deal with, not anyone else.

So it got serious, he moved away, I met my husband and moved away.  Then fate, karma, bad luck, whatever stepped in one night in 2004.  My brother, husband and I went to a bar in the burg for a few drinks, and I noticed a name plate on the wall.  Oh shit.  I ask my brother's friend who that was, and he pointed to the guy at the end of the bar.  :)  Great.  All those feelings that had hidden themselves (mostly) for almost 9 years came flooding back. 

And it's been that way ever since.  He's I guess what you call a friend, but not really.  I've hung out with him almost every time I've gone back home.....but this time is going to be different.  I'm going to break up with him.  lmfao.

When I go home in October, I'm going to make a point to talk to him, even if I have to hunt him down.  I want to tell him that I've been in love with him since I was 18, and I understand that he doesn't feel the same.  But I can't be friends with him.  I've tried for the last five years, and all it's gotten me is hurt.  Hurt when he had a girlfriend and avoided me the last time I was in town, instead of just being honest with me.  I take things the wrong way if they are intended for me or not - like the logging out if I'm online.  Quite simply, I just can't do it anymore.  I can't keep waiting for him to log on and talk to me, because I won't initiate the conversation.

You know what?  Once I decided that I'd have the little chat with him, I felt so at peace.  Seriously.  Not to sound corny, but I guess that's what Dr. Phil means when he says you'll know when it's ok to end a relationship because your decision will bring you peace.  And that's exactly what I think this is - the end of a relationship.  A bad one, but one none the less.

I should lobby for Randomness to be a word.

*yep.  One of those annoying ass blogs that you all love.  : P

* School is almost done for the quarter.  I took my Interpersonal Relations and Business Development exam on thursday.  I studied for six days, but her questions were so obscure and open to intrepretation that I'll be lucky if I got half of them right.  I need to accept the inevitable B for the course. 

* On a good note, though, if I get a 100 on my Math exam, I'll be the only person in Augusta Tech history to get a 100 for the Math 1012 course.  Pressure, anyone?

* I'm extremely jealous that everyone else is getting to meet Charne' and Rach.  Just Sayin'.

* Myspace was deleted because I got tired of the boy logging out every time I logged in.  It was giving me a complex.  So I did the stupid thing and posted a bulletin with the link to the FB profile.  The boy added me.  Now he logs out of FB every time I log in.  Shoulda just deleted the boy.

* Speaking of the boy, when will my heart realize what my head already knows?

* The other, more important boy is finally working full time.  I took him down there three weeks ago to make sure he still had a job...he did.  Made him explain that our unemployment ran out in three weeks and he needs to be working if he has a job.  Whew.  He's been to work every day for a week and two days.  I love it.

* This morning I was watching the news and saw the report of a truck driver that had been shot and killed at a truck stop not too far from where the boy works.  Told my mother this morning that I thought it sucked, it gave me yet another thing to worry about while he was out on the road.  Pick him up this afternoon and he comes to the truck with tears in his eyes, says "you know Billy's cousin Robert?"  Oh my god.  Robert Lee Stone, Jr.  The truck driver killed last night.  He worked with the boy, one of three drivers.  :(

* It hit way, way, way too close to home.  And then you think about how much we needed a break in life, and boy did we get one.  The job is pretty much secure now, but at the expense of someone's life.  Feeling a little guilty about my relief.

* My computer has a Trojan virus.  Thanks, Augusta Tech.  You'd better hope that come November 2 when I get my grant check the boy is still working.  I need a new computer.  I can no longer plug anything into the USB drives (except the ipods, because they are apple) and my computer freezes while I'm farming and playing with jewels.  hate, hate hate that.